- Riding with your jacket halfway unzipped feels nice and cool…but it really hurts when the wasp that just hit your chest starts stinging you over and over.
- As long as you’re not a jerk about it, parking up on the concrete apron along the building at the grocery/Walmart/movie theater is usually OK.
- Kickstands sink into hot blacktop after a surprisingly short amount of time.
- Just because a helmet has vents on its shell, doesn’t mean there are actual holes through the EPS liner. Before you buy it, pull the inner liner aside and look for the holes. If they aren’t there, none of that air is gonna reach your sweaty little head.
- Restoring a rad ‘70s bike sounds like a great idea, until you realize what a pain it is to set the points on the ignition and sync four carburetors.
- You’re going to be frustrated, probably many times, at how you are treated at dealerships and repair shops. Don’t take it personally.
- Your guy friends’ girlfriends/wives might not like you. Don’t take it personally.
- Other women might throw shade at you. Don’t take it personally.
- If you’re outside the “norm” (yeah, right) of 5-feet, 6-inches tall and 110 lbs., good luck finding riding gear that fits. For some reason, the smaller the size the shorter the arms/inseam, and the larger the size the longer the arms/inseam. It’s like they think shorter = skinnier and taller = thicker.
- Locking up the rear brake (in a straight line) = probably OK. Locking up the front brake (in a straight line) = probably not OK. Locking up either brake in a turn = don’t do this.
- Riding with people who are better/faster than you is the only way you’re going to get better/faster.
- Waving at motorcycle cops is OK.
- See that little girl over there, hiding halfway behind her dad’s leg and staring at you in your riding gear? You’re her hero. Use your power wisely.
- When changing your bike’s oil, don’t loosen the filler cap until after you’ve removed the drain plug.
- Some people are never going to “get it.”
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re #14 – And don’t take out the fill cap with the bike running because you want to look down in there to see what’s going on in there. Uh, duh. What actually happens is that oil pumps out in all-engulfing spurts with every pulse of the cylinder (single-cylinder scooter) like blood from a slit carotid artery. Have you ever tried to clean oil spray from off neighboring bikes, the garage walls, a bicycle or two, and you? Oh, and to stop all that spraying, it’s quicker to hit the kill switch than to try to put the plug back in.
If it’s too hot for full protection, it’s too hot to ride.
Don’t send cash in the mail.
Don’t engage in land wars in Asia.
RE #11: Careful with the better/faster argument. People who ride faster than you aren’t necessarily better riders than you, and people who ride better than you don’t necessarily ride faster than you. Riding a motorcycle fast isn’t hard. It’s harder to ride one well at really slow speed.
What it takes to ride well is training and practice. You can get both of these–and go fast if you want–at a track day. There are track days specifically for street riders. It’s a much smarter approach to getting better/faster than trying to keep up with people who ride faster than you. (Yes, I wish someone had told me this long ago.)
Ride in traffic like you are invisible.
Look way up the curve…where you want to go.
Correct tire pressure is really important for handling. Check it before you go out on that long ride on the weekend.
Love it! You had me laughing at a few of these!
So glad to have found this site!! Just bought my first bike (based on your and other reviews) and am looking forward to learning how to ride better. (just finished my MSF course) I’m going to buy the full protection gear and ditch the cute stuff I bought with hubby. Thanks for including newbies in your posts – we need the most advice!